On the edge of not wanting to feel

You want me there but you're never here. How is it that I could blind myself to all your faults yet you judge the distance I had gone for you? I am tired of always having to be the one trying to salvage the remains of what we had.

So. Forgive me for not meeting your expectations. Forgive me for not being brave enough to tell this straight to you. Forgive me for having the fear of losing you. Forgive me for all the things I didn't do and have done. Forgive me for all the things I couldn't be for you.

Please. Just this once, let it be about me. Just this once, catch me when I fall. Just this once, love me as much as I love you. Just this once, hold my hands. Just this once, climb the mountains for me. Just this once, help me reach the sky. Just this once, be here with me.

I wanted to be enough for you but there is just not enough of me. Don't misunderstood what I want as expectations. I would never degrade what we have that way. And please don't hate me and say goodbye for being a coward. I just love you too much to tell you I'm in so much pain.